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» Jokes For The Home Site
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Offline Mediar
Posted: Sep 23 2008, 06:23 PM
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I need some javascript jokes for the home page. I will try to change it every mounth. Look what have I puted here inder the header "Joke of the month". And remember - no popups and blink images. :!:

I am waiting your suggestions! :)
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Offline super xero
Posted: Jul 9 2009, 08:43 PM
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Sure I will look some up.
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Offline super xero
Posted: Jul 9 2009, 08:52 PM
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Add a bit of interactive fun with this great random joke javascript. The random joke script gives out funny random computer related puns. You can easily alter this random script to give random quotes, random jokes or any subject you want.

Your visitor clicks on the input button and the random computer pun is generated in a dialogue box. Very smart and very effective.

STEP 1

Copy the code below and paste this into the <head> of your html document. The jokes or messages can be altered in this part.

CODE
<script LANGUAGE="JavaScript">
<!-- Distributed by http://www.hypergurl.com Begin function stClock() { window.setTimeout(
"stClock()", 1000 ); today = new Date(); self.status = today.toString();
} function getMessage() { var ar = new Array(20) ar[0] = "Buy a Pentium 586/90
so you can reboot faster." ar[1] = "2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values
of 2." ar[2] = "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." ar[3]
= "Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes." ar[4] = "My
software never has bugs. It just develops random features." ar[5] = "If
anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway." ar[6] = "Best file
compression around: \"DEL *.*\" = 100% compression" ar[7] = "The
Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in." ar[8] = "If
everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."
ar[9] = "BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding" ar[10] =
"BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!" ar[11] =
"It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."
ar[12] = "Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..." ar[13]
= "Every solution breeds new problems." ar[14] = "As a computer,
I find your faith in technology amusing." ar[15] = "Two wrongs are only
the beginning." ar[16] = "Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy?
Shell to DOS..." ar[17] = "All computers wait at the same speed."
ar[18] = "DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate
errors." ar[19] = "Success always occurs in private, and failure in
full view." var now = new Date() var sec = now.getSeconds() alert("Quote:\r"
+ ar[sec % 20]) } // End --> </SCRIPT>


STEP 2

Place this event hadler code into the <body> tag of your html document. onLoad="stClock()"

<body onLoad="stClock()">

STEP 3

Copy the code below and paste this into the content area of your html document between the <body> and </body> tags where you want the Computer Jokes Button to appear on your webpage.

CODE
<CENTER>
<FORM> <INPUT TYPE="button" VALUE="Random Computer Jokes"
onClick="getMessage()"> </FORM> </CENTER>


Enjoy and hope it works.

This post has been edited by super xero on Jul 9 2009, 08:54 PM
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Offline Mediar
Posted: Jul 10 2009, 07:20 AM
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Ok. I will try this. ;)
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Offline Fahim_07
Posted: Jul 10 2009, 05:41 PM
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Whack Whack Whack that was out of my mind!!
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Offline super xero
  Posted: Jul 13 2009, 10:36 PM
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Look at this one lol
http://www.kissmyfloppy.com/pages/jokes.php?id=64

This post has been edited by super xero on Jul 13 2009, 10:47 PM
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Offline Mediar
Posted: Jul 14 2009, 05:53 PM
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The first joke you posted doesn't work. Frontpage gave me an "script error". I can give you screenshot.
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Offline super xero
Posted: Jul 14 2009, 10:56 PM
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I knew that was going to happen <_< . No need for a screenshot.
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